For as long as Ive lived,Ive had had experied life spiritually, and I've had certain gifts that often left me sidelined or labelled as different. These are a great part of the reasons that I have searched through religion and spirituality. I believe that everyone needs a spiritual "home". Call it religion or spirituality, I believe that everyone makes their own choice and this is an in-alienable right.
The thing about seeking spiritual proximity with Source,however you may define the latter,is that whatever spiritual gifts you have are accentuated and come to having a life of their own,not due to your greatness but to the Greatness of that source which is eternal light and highest vibration. I believe in living a life of service,because life is not given for our own good,but we receive our own goos through our service to others. It comes naturally to see victories when your focus in on the victories of others. And the blessings you receive are simply a manifestation of the law of retur I also believe that gifts are your means of providing for yourself through exercise of the gifts. Yours may be architecture, or building,mine happens to be healing and mentoring otherwise known as life coaching and counseling. I believe in angels,in light,and in goodness.but ive seen enough of the darkness in people to know that light has a purpose- to shine so that darkness is converted to light,and since both light and angels exist because of Source I am simply a chanel of healing. I am deeply grateful for the many lives that I have seen change.I am deeply humbled by the healing that Ive seen happen in front of me, and deeply pleased when people are able to find their feet,move forward with their lives in wellbeing. I do not encourage dependency but rather a healthy growth towards taking your own life back. Yes,there are the ungrateful,till the end of the world we will always have those. But all it means is that they are not ready to see themselves as the radiant beings they are, and when they are ready their own teacher will appear,because Source does not give up on Light. And all is well. May peace always find you.
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Letting go of a relationship or a marriage is never easy, especially if you are someone who holds the concept of family strongly (and most people do)
Usually, the idea of leaving is either painful or challenging to the mind - not because of the demerit of the actual relationship, but rather because who you dreamed this person to be and who they turned out to be are two different people - or the dream you had of your life and what it actually is are two different things. The internal battle of the mind is called cognitive dissonance. The battle of the spirit and emotions is called mourning. Your mind battles to take off the rose-coloured glasses of how you used to see them. So in order to move on, you need to begin by building on who you are, as an individual. Recovering your sense of self-worth and self-love as a person and as a spiritual person. The journey back to yourself usually is enough to show you that although you were a PART of something, you were always SOMEONE in your own right, and this realization helps with the spiritual and emotional grief. Sometimes, it helps a lot, and sometimes it helps only a little because you realise that as a good person you have a tendency to blame yourself for the falling apart of, well, everything. This is where you need counseling if you haven't been attending it. You see, it is at this point that another internal battle begins - the memories begin to haunt you, good or bad, and images of the dreams you had of what being a couple or a family would be remind you that things did not turn out this way. Your mind accuses you of failure, your emotions accuse you of failure and your energy is scattered. If you've already left then this is about the time that you're jumping each time there's a car coming into the driveway or someone approaching your door, or the phone rings, or the clock shows the time and you subconsciously realise this was when "they" came home. In cases of abuse this is not necessarily easier, because of the programming that the abuser inflincts for years, sometimes decades, upon your mind and heart. Life goes by so fast that when you look back upon how to got to where you are, you may realize that you've not been living as much as you've been surviving, or "existing", day by day, with a little hope here and lot of "sticki-to-itness" there. You've been through crises, no doubt, through nights of sorrow and times of bliss, and these all make up the big picture of your life.
In the life-coaching process, we look at how you got to where you are; we examine the ghosts of the past and how they impact you now as well as how they can either aid or hinder you in the future. This is such an important step that we never design a plan forward without assessing the past. You see, you need to be able to look back with an eye of peace in order to look ahead with a heart filled with hope and vibrancy. Along the path, we clear away the negativity, the energetic blockages caused by life's knocks, and we use various means to pave the road at your feet and possibly turn on a few lights in your night sky. If you are hurting right now, if life seems to have crashed around you and you feel hopeless and in despair, you've probably realized that it will not help to blame anyone but your choices. You see, disasters and tragedy strike everyone in life; nobody escapes. But those are not the things that define you - what defines you and defines your future is what you choose to do about them, where you choose to place your attention and what you choose to back with your energy, your heart, your life-force. There is little point in remaining in a place that you know is only going down-hill, in a situation that is simply destroying you day after day. If this is the case, then now is the time to ask yourself if this is how you want to live the rest of your life, because chances are that if you keep going the way you are headed, you are going to end up exactly there. You will find a million reasons to maintain the status quo, but for each of those there are another million reasons not to, not the least of which is that you should not stagnate. Life is not a point of stagnation in the wheel of time; it is an evolving, turning, throbbing process which turns it's wheels. Exercise: Write down all the options you have, however odd they may seem, that lie ahead of you. Now ask yourself which of those options will bring an end to your suffering and allow you to move on and grow, and allow the people around you the freedom to move on and grow as well. Now focus every day on doing something small that makes YOU happy, so that your focus remains positive. After all, the only certainty in life is CHANGE. And the only way to ensure that you get the change you desire is to engage in that little thing called CHOICE. First, in the small things, then in the bigger things, since the smaller will impact the latter. The wonderful thing about choice is it includes the choice of FOCUS. When you begin to focus on the things and people that bring you joy, those things become more important and change is triggered that is positive, even if it looks like the end of a road. Roads are like that - for one to start, another must end, and this is not a bad thing; just part of the art of living. You know how it goes.. One moment you are doing something quite routine and the next you find yourself second guessing everything that yesterday seemed to flow quite fluidly. What happened?
I mean, you suddenly start to remember every time you failed at something, even trivial things that didn't matter at the time seem to take on massive importance. Then you look around yourself and all you seem to see is how well everyone else is doing in comparison to you, and before long you have descended into an all time funk. You fall into a pit of diapair and negativity where no amount of positive thinking seems to help. Your mind hurts and your heart aches. Friends try to pull you out but you stick determinately to the self speak dialogue of why you are not worthy. Welcome to the pit of over thinking. You'vefallen headlong into quasi self loathing, and you didn't even stop for coffee at the "I'm kinda OK" cafe. And right about now you're wondering why nobody seems to care enough to pull you out. They do, they try.. but you have made the decision that you are (insert negative self speak of your choice) and only a miracle would convince you otherwise. Then time goes by and hopefully it passes. But how do you prevent falling in again? One tip is shift focus,try to something different and creative, something you enjoy and that you know you are good at. It may even be fun! As long as it is something that feeds your soul,shift focus to that. A mind that is in creative gear will usually be so wrapped up in the project that the overthinking stops as a side-effect. If you are not the one overthinking or spiralling into a negative mindspace, but you know someone who is, point out their good traits, and be kind but don't get pulled into analyzing for them, or hooked into trying to force them to see the positive. Point out the positive aspects of them and then try to get them to shift focus to something they enjoy. Do allow them a little time to find their way back, but check in to ensure there is no danger of self harm, and if there is, get professional help involved. The pit has a hallway that leeds to depression, and it is a downward spiral that can start with something as simple as "I don't like my nose. " which gets distorted increasingly until it becomes " I'm worthless and I have proof.. " When ever you find that you have walked into the pity party of someone you love, bring balloons, bring lightness, and then gift them over and let them breathe through the sadness and see the colours you've brought along. Whatever you do, do not get into the well with them, or switch to why things are so bad with you, also, in comiseration. Throw them a rope, love them from the solid earth, ground them in your reassurance, but help them to climb out, don't go down with them. That said, depression is a serious illness. If someone you love is showing signs of being unable to climb out of the self loathing pit, do not assume they just need more time. Get professional help, tell someone who is qualified to help. Depression should not he ignored. I greet you in the name of Peace.
So many times we hear people say that someone has "So much potential" , or worse, that they "Had so much potential, how could things go so wrong?" Whilst potential is the seed of greatness, it does not follow that someone with great potential will ever live up to it. Potential is only a door; It takes action to open it, a step of faith to embark on the journey through the wilderness that lies behind it. Within this wilderness lie endless fields of frustration, forests of challenges, and oceans of obstacles that must be pushed, pulled, cast aside, or even vaulted over. Sometimes a stranger will welcome you on their boat for a while, and progress seems quick. Sometimes you will find yourself stuck in quicksand and you fall into the mistaken belief that you can go no further. And then, if you've overcome so much with actions, work, perseverance, continuously resurrecting your self-belief and sense of purpose, as you just about reach the end of the journey you find that in fact you have come to a T-junction, where you are given a task that almost breaks you all over again, or you discover that the end of the rainbow is just a mirage. This, my friends, is life. Each of us has a purpose: To live towards our potential. But too many people believe that potential means there is an end of the road, a final goal. Those who truly succeed know that each goal achieved is simply a reminder to keep going. If you are experiencing frustration, challenges; then you are simply experiencing the journey. It is a sign that you are participating in this thing called life. But if all is well, no ambition exists to achieve anything within yourself (and I am not talking about money), or no desire exists to do or be more of yourself, then you are indeed, stuck, and you have begun to die. There are times of rest, naturally, which are the exception to this rule. Times to rest, to renew, to revise your game-plan. But contentment and apathy are not the same thing.. We must remember not to allow our belief in our potential to be the end of our road; not allow obstacles to become coffins, and not allow dreams to become forgotten memories.. for all of the former of these, are signs that we are on the right path - the journey of life continues... |
AuthorR.V. Carvalho is a Life Coach & Reiki Master, and the founder of The Healing Center 786, based in Durban, South Africa. As a life coach, motivational speaker and healer she has striven to uplift and assist people through their times of personal and professional transformation. Archives
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